Friday, 23 October 2009

#8 Wearing White or Cream Clothing Outside of Sport

Imagine a man strolling towards you dressed in white. The trousers are obviously loose-fitting, probably linen, probably with some roofies in the pocket; the shirt unbuttoned to reveal a deep tan and thrusting chest hairs. Now shudder.

Wearing white clothes screams sinistry in a fruity Eurotrash accent. It’s trying to show off your tan; it’s trying to pretend you own a yacht in Puerto Banus when in fact you probably own a row boat in Skegness; it’s proving you’re the kind of person who takes care not to spill anything or sit down on anything dirty. It’s proving you’re sinister…

In case you’re not convinced, let’s think of a few other items in these shades… The chino. The white socks/black shoes combo beloved of the late and deeply sinister MJ. Finally, think of the white boxer-short and think of the y-front…

Attic Rating: 5/10

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