Thursday, 7 January 2010

#18 Driving Gloves

You might think that accessories came no more sinister than the non-military night vision goggle (see below). You would be wrong. For deep down, at the very bottom of the proverbial draw of sinistry (or more literally the basement) lies a pair of the most insidious items ever to be hand-stitched from the skin of baby calves: driving gloves.

Some sorts of glove, clearly, have clear practical applications: surviving extreme cold, handling radioactive isotopes, medical examinations, that sort of thing. Note that none of these are situations typically found in motor vehicles. Pray tell, then - for what purpose exist these driving gloves?

Is it so the wheel slides through the hands more easily? Is it so you look like a sinister human incarnation of Toad of Toad Hall? Is it so you can feel the cashmere lining gently caressing your clammy palms? Is it so you don't leave any fingerprints? Is it easier to wipe them clean afterwards? It is, of course, all of the above. No aspect of this is unsinister.

And even if the above weren't enough, let me deliver the coup de grace: there exists a 'string backed' variety. And that, you don't need me to tell you, is the most sinister of all.

Attic rating: 8.1/10